Another DUD

Ok errybody this is somethng that hapened to me recently. I was chatting with this dude on one of the websites BGC. So we met at a public place and had a very nice conversation. I could tell there was an attraction there and I felt it was mutual. So we talked for hours. We kept thinking the cops were gonna make us leave becuse it was at a convinience store parking lot..LOL So we parted ways, they were going back to their army base with the plans of moving back to ATL in 2 weeks for good. We chatted on the phone the entire 3 hour trip he had to make. It felt good talking to him again. So the week went by and he was to return to ATL that weekend and we were planning to spend more time with each other. WE talked almost each day several times a day. Then I called on a Thu and no ans so I left a message. Well no return calls. I emailed, no response. So then I look at their Facebook page and the status says in a relationship. I finally get an email saying and I quote "Its a lot, but when I'm ready I let you know....". Now am I supposed to wait? I mean, I was starting to open myself up to this person. But they basically shyt on me for no reason and I did nothing! I feel like I was just played. I though this was a real dude and serious. But, as I look back at their FB page it appears that there is a lot of growing up for him to do. I would have loved to have seen where it would have gone but we can't always get what we want. So this has confirmed to me that I should keep my distance as far as feelings go.

What do labels really mean?

Top, Bottom, Versatile, Versatile-Top, Versatile-Bottom

.. What does it all mean? Well to me a Top is someone that does not get penetrated however will be affectionate and perform oral sex give and receive. Now I have broken this down even more to sub categories: Total-top and selfish top. Total-top is someone that does not show affection and does not perform oral sex on the other party. This is usually your married and/or bi-sexual brotha(which I will talk about them in my next entry). The selfish top does not do anything but penetrate, he is not gonna kiss, he is not gonna caress or do any types of foreplay. But, he does expect you to be totally submissive and perform everything on him and you just lie there and to quote a move "He just climbs on top of me and does his business". He may make references to your anatomy with female names. The Bottom well this is self explanatory but the differences with some bottoms are, some don't want you to touch their penis'. They don't want to use it at all. Some can climax without even touching themselves(that's talent!). There are some that do everything they just don't penetrate at all. Versatile in my opinion is the best way to be. You get the best of both worlds and there is no confusion with what they wanna or can do. In my opinion, these are the true freaks! Tops of all kinds seem to like to gravitate to these men because they feel they are more masculine, or so I have been told by some. No disrespect to total bottoms! But, you have to admit there are a lot of bottoms that are a little fem. Versatile-top same as versatile, but this one leans more toward being on top(maybe 70/30, 60/40 or 80/20) this one kinda depends on the individual because they will go primarily on the vibe they get from the other person or how they are feeling. Versatile-bottom same as versatile-top but more on the bottom. Versatile men have more choices and options of a partner, they can mix and match. Just would depend on the individual and what they are comfortable with. I MUST REPEAT...THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!!! IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE I DO APOLOGIZE IT WAS NOT MY INTENT. Some may agree some may not. This is just how I see it. Again, be safe and have fun!

Just a thought

Well it has been a while since my last entry. But a few things have crossed my mind lately. Here it is. What is the definition of a good or great date? Does it include having sex as well? Do we now turn to the internet to meet people? It seems as though people these days have resorted to web sites to make potential date. Now some will say that certain web sites are sex sites only. I think that you make a web site what you want it to be. If you are looking for a sexual hook up then when you log into that given site that should be your main focus. But there are some that use the web sites to find a potential mate. I don't think there is nothing wrong with that. No matter what others say. I personally have used on e of these sites and found a partner. However, it did not last long but 7 years I think is pretty good. It did not end the way I wanted it to, but that's life. Now back to the good/great date. If there is a strong physical attraction between the 2 men then there is a 90% chance sex will happen. What seems to be happening lately is that there is no other second date! That is where the issue lies. Was it because sex happened too early? Was it because the sex was not good? I hear people say that sex is not an important part of the relationship. I say Give me a break! YES tha HELL it is!!! We are men and men enjoy sex, period! Whether you are gay or hetro-sexual you enjoy it. You think about it, you think about who you want to do it with as well. So stop kidding yourself! It does not make you a bad person and it does not mean you are a nympho. It means you are a man. The thing that seems to be missing is the nice dinner and/or movie. We seem to have gotten away from that. Why? I still wanna keep that alive if I can and I am sure there are some out there that feel the same way. Again, I dont think that sex on the first date is bad. I actually heard of someone that had a 90 day rule before they were physical with someone. That sounds like some stuff that he heard on girfriends and it was a rule that Joan used. Well we all know how well that turned out? She was still single even when it went off the air. Again we are MEN, WE ARE SEXUAL. So whos to say that the other person is not getting any on da side? Maybe, maybe not! But I would have many doubts if I lived by that rule. Well anyway, just something to think about. As always stay safe and have fun!

Is Dating dead in 2009?

Is dating dead in 2009? Well based on some of my experiences it seems to be. Whatever happened to meeting up and going to dinner or to the movies? It seems most guys today just want to meet freak then eat! Is this what we have come to? I was in a 7 yr relationship and was off the dating scene. But as I emerged from a bad relationship and put myself back on da market things have changed. Don't get me wrong as men we are sexual beings and we love having and thinking about sex. But I think we as black gay men do things backwards. Don't get me wrong I dont think there is a problem with sex on the first date. Its just what happens afterward. No one seems to want to date anymore. Yes people will put on their A4A, M4N or BGC profile that they are not looking for a relationshiop but if it happens they wont turn it away. WTF??? Is this not a contradictory statement? I think that if you are not looking for a relationhip that you should tell that to the other person upfront and not lead them on. Some people are looking to date or a relationship. If all you want to do is have a sex hookup then say that in the beginning I think you will be respected more if you put it on the table. Also, what the trend with this saying? "I'm just trying to do me right now" well if that is true then why are you on sex/social sites meeting people? If you are trying to do you, then do you! Don't try to bring others in your situation. Stop being scared of going on a date. It does not mean you are married. Chatting on the sites and on the phone is sometimes quite different in person. Oh and BTW when you say you are trying to get to know a person it does not mean just ion bed!! It means out in social settings, talking, and listening. Come on people..wassup!

Help-me-understand

I just want to know why is everyone so held bent on physical preferences? Now dont get me wrong I also have preferences but some of these have gone to the extreme. I mean if you are only interested in eye candy and not the inner person what does that say about you? I mean can a perfect body support you when you are down? I don't think so, unless you are in the adult industry. Can a perfect body provide intellect on a typical subject? Probably not because they are probably more concerned with how they look in da mirror. Please dont get me started on the rave of taking pictures with your cell phone in the mirror. Those pics are so boring no creativity at all just you and the mirror and they are all starting to look a like. All I am saying is that people should stop and take a look at the full person because after you have gotten that nutt will that same person be able to talk to you afterwards? I mean is it really worth the 1 or so hours of your time?

Help-me-understand..